1. INVEST IN A LINT ROLLER
This helps to disguise the fact that you've worn the same leggings for an entire week. Also if you're anything like me, you have a thousand fuzzy blankets that shed fuzz bits like CRAZY and get all over your black leggings. A lint roller will help you hide the fact that you just rolled out of bed and are wearing the black leggings that you slept in.
2. DRY SHAMPOO. DRY SHAMPOO. DRY SHAMPOO.
If I had a dollar for the amount of times dry shampoo has saved my life, I would have over a million dollars probably.
If I had a dollar for the amount of times dry shampoo has saved my life, I would have over a million dollars probably.
3. CAFFEINE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND -- JUST ACCEPT THAT
Like health is okay but staying awake is more important. You just need to come to terms with that. Also I'm definitely #TeamSwig, sorry friends.
4. GET REALLY BIG HEADPHONES
.....and then wear them always. Walking to class, if you have big huge headphones on then no one's gonna stop you and try to talk to you and be your friend. This is important especially when you're late for your 11o'clock class because you slept in till 10:45 and attendance is mandatory (not speaking from personal experience or anything....... sorry mom). Also, you look pretty BA with some cool beats on your head, which makes your just-rolled-out-of-bed aesthetic look PURPOSEFUL. That's how to be a hot mess. Make everything questionable that happens to you look like you did it on purpose, and no one will question you.
5. BUY A FRICK TON OF BEANIES*
mostly because they make anyone look BA. Beanies are the perfect accessory for the just-rolled-out-of-bed aesthetic, which you are undoubtedly rocking because you literally just rolled out of bed. Also helps for when you run out of dry shampoo and don't have time to fix the hair. Just cover it up! You'll look like you purposely styled your hair to look good in the beanie, when really you're still rocking the same curls from a few days ago. It's fashion!
*baseball hats work too.
*baseball hats work too.
6. THE BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES ARE DESIGNER
Celebrities pay TONS of money to get the "I got no sleep" bags under their eyes, right? K probs nah but OWN THAT SHIZ. Under-eye circles are a pain to cover up, and usually they look even worse if you try to make them go away (cake-y makeup is the lazy girl's ultimate enemy). So, throw away that concealer (or keep it, cause makeup is expensive) and embrace the no-sleep fashion that is happening on your face! Use it to your advantage - dark circles under your eyes really help with the whole "don't talk to me" vibe, so walk around with your resting B face on display and let the lack of sleep be seen!
7. BOMB PLAYLISTS ON SPOTIFY = BOMB LIFE
The amount of time that I spend on my Spotify playlists instead of on real things that could benefit my future is ridiculous. Like, HOURS of my life is dedicated to those things. But it's so important. You need at least one kick-butt playlist that you can listen to while rocking your huge head phones walking to class (see tip #4). Mine has a ton of Kanye & Big Sean on it, they really help me get in the don't-mess-with-this-hot-mess zone. You'll also need an acoustic jams/slow sad songs playlist, for when you actually decide to do homework/study, and you'll need a pop vibes playlist because anyone that says they don't like pop music is a LIAR and doesn't known what they're missing out on because top 40 pop music is the bomb and I'll fight anyone on that.
8. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE ON TIME
Like, just always plan on leaving your house 10 minutes late. That's okay. Find friends that accept this about you, and are okay with waiting for you (thanks chels). At the same time, adjust. If you're going on a date and he's picking you up at 8, pretend that he's picking you up at 7:45 so even when you're late, you're still on time. Know yourself. Drake.
9. EYEBROWS MUST ALWAYS BE ON FLEEK
Cause even if you don't have time to put on makeup or make yourself look acceptable, if your eyebrows look good, then you just feel good and others are still threatened by your good looks. Like, you may be ugly but you have bomb eyebrows and not everyone can say that. Eyebrows on fleek, hot mess on fleek.
10. YOU CAN WRITE A 7 PAGE PAPER IN 2 HOURS. YOU CAN, AND YOU WILL.
BUT, those two hours you HAVE to be hyper focused. Like, no distractions at all. Get some caffeine, your acoustic Spotify playlist, and do WORK. And then you don't have to do homework until the next paper is due in a month. But then that night, you have to be willing to ignore everything and work hard on that paper. Procrastination doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just don't let it screw you over in the end. You have to commit to procrastination.
11. USE YOUR CURLING IRON TO TAME FLY-AWAYS
Okay this one is so random but it WORKS guys. Throwing your hair up into a ponytail? Good, me too. BUT, right when you start getting ready, turn on your curling iron. Then, when you're done getting ready approximately 5 minutes later, your curling wand is HOT, and ready to fix your mess of a hairstyle. Take the curling wand and seriously just run it from your part to the end of your hair. It will make your fly-aways go the same way as your hair, so they aren't sticking straight up. It's a little way to make your bun seem more intentionally-messy-chic than the reality of it being the same bun you put your hair in the night before.
12. ALL NIGHTERS ARE OK BUT YOU GOTTA DO THEM RIGHT
TIP 1-don't do them often. TIP 2-you're gonna want to kill yourself, accept this early on. TIP 3-do the most important work early on, so if (when) you decide "this all-nighter isn't happening, I'm going to bed" then you won't be totally screwed the next day! TIP 4-caffeine in INTERVALS. Drink from 8-9PM, 12-1AM, 4-5AM. Then, you won't be jittery and shaky all day the following day. Also, drink a lot of water in addition to the caffeine. Pop dehydrates you, so that one's way important!! TIP 5-ten mins of social media for every 45 mins of studying. Always. Gotta treat yo'self so you don't go insane, obviously.
13. ALWAYS CHECK YOUR HOROSCOPE
Knowing your horoscope means knowing what's coming. Like for instance, my horoscope yesterday said that I was gonna be really busy the beginning of the week, but this weekend I'm gonna have a fun and flirty weekend (direct quote). Now I know that I need to work really hard at the beginning of the week so I can have a carefree and fun weekend! It's good to know these things, I promise. Also, it's nice so if your life is crashing and burning more than normal, you have something to blame.
Knowing your horoscope means knowing what's coming. Like for instance, my horoscope yesterday said that I was gonna be really busy the beginning of the week, but this weekend I'm gonna have a fun and flirty weekend (direct quote). Now I know that I need to work really hard at the beginning of the week so I can have a carefree and fun weekend! It's good to know these things, I promise. Also, it's nice so if your life is crashing and burning more than normal, you have something to blame.
14. WHEN YOU GO GROCERY SHOPPING, BUY THE NECESSARY THINGS
don't even bother buying a ton of veggies and fruits because there's no way you're gonna eat them all before they go bad. Buy 1-2 avocados, a small package of grapes, and then cereal, spaghetti-o's, frozen dinners, mac n cheese, and steamable veggies. Also don't forget butter or else you can't make mac n cheese and then you'll get sad.
15. WEAR MATCHING SOCKS
It's the little things. You'll look more put together. Even if your socks aren't visible, what if you somehow end up somewhere you need to take your shoes off??? Nothing more embarrassing than having ratchet socks. Invest, and take the time to match them after you wash them so you don't have to waste time in the morning finding matching socks.
16. SLEEP ON TOP OF YOUR DUVET
I have like 5 fuzzy blankets I use, and I sleep on top of my actual duvet. Then, it's like you made your bed each morning even though you did nothing. Literally nothing feels better than coming home and having your bed be made. So, sleep on top of your actual comforter, and sleep with extra blankets so you don't have to worry about it. Also if people surprise you by coming to your house, you don't have to rush around and be stressed that they think you're messy because YOUR BED IS ALREADY MADE. So, obviously you have your life together. Right? lol riiiiiiighhhhhht *sly emoji face here*
17. DRINK A TON OF WATER
Water makes your skin clear, keeps you hydrated, and carrying around a cute water bottle makes you look like you have your shiz together.
18. USE THE 2/3RDS RULE WHEN GETTING READY
I've talked about this before. It's foolproof. Every day before you leave, make sure you're at least 2 for 3 in your appearance. Between hair, makeup, and clothes, make sure at least 2 of those 3 categories be acceptable. If you don't feel like putting makeup on, you can still have a good day if your hair is acceptable and your clothes don't look like you just rolled out of bed. Hair not working? Put on a lil bit of mascara and a sweater instead of a tshirt and you're golden. Days you need to be fierce, go for 3/3. Rough days (aka normal days probably) can be 1/3. If you're ever 0/3 just text me and I'll bring you soup or something because obviously you're having a bad day. It's a good system that has never failed me once.
19. REMEMBER THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING
No one actually has control of their life, so really you're no less of a person than anyone else. The only difference is that your lack of control is a lot more outwardly visible than other peoples may be. You just need to accept this, adopt the aesthetic of a hot mess, and then rock that vibe for all its worth. You are beautiful, messy, and lost in the world. THAT'S OKAY.
Hope you guys appreciated this, also just a little bit nervous that now I'll get called out for all my tips & tricks so here's hoping that no one actually reads this lololol.
LOVE Y'ALL
TUNES:
Stone // Alessia Cara
Water makes your skin clear, keeps you hydrated, and carrying around a cute water bottle makes you look like you have your shiz together.
18. USE THE 2/3RDS RULE WHEN GETTING READY
I've talked about this before. It's foolproof. Every day before you leave, make sure you're at least 2 for 3 in your appearance. Between hair, makeup, and clothes, make sure at least 2 of those 3 categories be acceptable. If you don't feel like putting makeup on, you can still have a good day if your hair is acceptable and your clothes don't look like you just rolled out of bed. Hair not working? Put on a lil bit of mascara and a sweater instead of a tshirt and you're golden. Days you need to be fierce, go for 3/3. Rough days (aka normal days probably) can be 1/3. If you're ever 0/3 just text me and I'll bring you soup or something because obviously you're having a bad day. It's a good system that has never failed me once.
19. REMEMBER THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING
No one actually has control of their life, so really you're no less of a person than anyone else. The only difference is that your lack of control is a lot more outwardly visible than other peoples may be. You just need to accept this, adopt the aesthetic of a hot mess, and then rock that vibe for all its worth. You are beautiful, messy, and lost in the world. THAT'S OKAY.
Hope you guys appreciated this, also just a little bit nervous that now I'll get called out for all my tips & tricks so here's hoping that no one actually reads this lololol.
LOVE Y'ALL
TUNES:
Stone // Alessia Cara
Rock Bottom // Hailey Steinfeld
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